Month: August 2019

Hold Please

Being on hold is the worst. And not only because it is an enormous waste of time and eternally irritating. It’s the worst because when I am on hold, I am overcome with a desire to multitask. I start doing some chore or begin a conversation. Then I become desensitized to the phone pressed against my ear, and I cease waiting in a prepared state to be taken off hold and engage in conversation. Any number of things can happen when being on hold suddenly ends – the best of which is totally forgetting who I was waiting for and why I called. The worst of which happened earlier this week.

I had a simple question about a prescription, so I called the doctor. I was asked to hold please, and I graciously consented. Then I started talking to Mike and Emery who were in the kitchen making coffee. We chatted quite awhile, and all was well.

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Mike asked when the coffee was done.

“Sure,” I answered accepting the steaming mug. I walked across the kitchen and grabbed the battery operated frother so I could create the multitude of tiny bubbles that make drinking coffee an adventure.

“Didn’t I stir it enough?” Mike asked.

“She likes it frothy,” Emery answered.

Agreeing with her completely, I channeled my inner large man, and accessed my deepest possible voice. “I like it frothy!” I rapped in a sing-song way that would make rappers cringe. Liking the rhythm of the sentence, I added a small dance move and repeated louder and with more gusto, “I like it frothy!”

And that is why I may be looking for a new doctor.