Month: March 2019

TV Got Harder

“Hey, since all the kids are gone tonight, do you want to watch a movie?” Mike asked as we cleaned the dishes after supper.

“Yes!” I answered. “I just heard about a good one on Netflix.”

“Okay. Why don’t you let me finish cleaning, and you can make the popcorn? I’ll join you downstairs when I’m done,” Mike suggested.

“When was the last time we watched a movie by ourselves?” I asked as Mike walked down the basement steps and sat on the couch. I handed him the bowl of popcorn and balanced two cans of Coke in one hand as I grabbed the fluffiest blanket with the other and draped it across our laps.

“I can’t remember,” Mike answered. “but is this the wrong remote to turn the TV on?”

“I have no idea what the proper use for that remote is,” I answered as I handed him a different remote I had found on the couch.

“Nope,” Mike said after pushing every button the remote had. “This isn’t the right one either.”

After several minutes of searching under the couch and between the cushions, I blurted out, “We can’t even turn the TV on!” At which point the TV turned on.

“Did you do that?’ Mike asked.

“No,” I said, astonished. “I wasn’t even holding a remote.”

“Do you think we talk to it?” Mike asked suspiciously. “It turned on right after you said, ‘TV on.'”

“No,” I said without any certainty. “It can’t hear us.”

“Well, how do I get it to Netflix?” Mike asked pushing buttons on the remote and scrolling through a series of screens that were not Netflix.

“Maybe try the other remote?” I suggested.

After many screens that were not Netflix appeared and disappeared on the TV, I was desperate. “TV, play Netflix,” I commanded. Nothing happened.

“TV,” Mike yelled, “show Netflix!” Nothing happened.

“TV,” I shouted, “play a movie on Netflix.” Nothing. “Play a movie!” Nothing. “Watch a movie!” Nothing. Mike joined in with, “Show Netflix!” Nothing. “Netflix!” we shouted in unison. Nothing.

“Why are you guys yelling?” Drake asked as he showed up unexpectedly in the basement.

This is why we don’t watch movies by ourselves.