Month: September 2018

Boys vs Rotten Food

“So, remember how I brought my leftovers home after working at the Outback?” Drake asked as I started making supper Monday night.

“Yes,” I answered. “You wanted to have it for lunch today.”

“Yeah,” he answered, jumping up to sit on the countertop. “But, I forgot about it and left it in my car all weekend.”

“Oh no!” I said. “And it was around 90 degrees the whole time. I’ll bet it smelled awful.”

“Not really.”

“I’m surprised,” I said, filling the table with condiments for the hamburgers. “That’s a long time for food to sit in a hot car.”

“Well, it tasted fine.”

“You ate it?” I stopped and stared at him.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But it wasn’t anything that would be bad. It was just chicken.”

“Chicken!” I yelled. “That’s one of the worst possible things to take a risk with!”

“Are you saying the chicken was bad?” Josiah asked, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Josiah,” I pounded my palm on the counter for emphasis, “you’ll never believe what Drake ate for lunch!”

“You mean the car-chicken that we both ate together?”

“YOU BOTH ATE IT?”

“Yeah,” they answered, hesitantly.

“How did this happen?” I asked. “Drake, did you walk inside and say, ‘Hey, do you want to eat some chicken I forgot in my car all weekend?’ and then, Josiah, did you grab a fork and dig in?”

“That is almost exactly how it happened,” Drake nodded. “If it helps, I feel great.”

“I feel great too,” Josiah agreed.

It should help. It doesn’t.

 

Sleep Deprivation vs Home Repair

“Do you think you should go to bed?” I asked Mike. He had been traveling for several days and was running on minimal sleep.

“I want to try to stay awake for awhile,” he said.

“Okay. Well, you could fix the shower in the bathroom while I take the dog on a walk,” I suggested. “It hasn’t been working for a while, so the kids are using the basement shower.”

“In my present state of sleep deprivation, I don’t trust myself to work on something like plumbing,” he said. Seeing the wisdom in that, I nodded and grabbed the dog leash.

“That makes sense,” I said as I headed out the door. “Just relax and hang out with the boys,” I called over my shoulder as Arrow drug me across the front yard and toward the sidewalk. Arrow gets excited about walks like Elf gets excited about Santa. It took a lot of walking, but, finally, the muggy air added to the blocks walked and equaled a tired dog. By the time we returned to our house Arrow was panting and walking at a reasonable trot instead of his usual lightening gallop.

“Mom,” Drake said unusually serious as I opened the front door and walked inside, “Dad decided he wanted to replace our thermostat, so we went to Lowe’s and bought a new one. He took out our old one but couldn’t get the new one working, and now we don’t have air conditioning.”

“What?” I asked. “It’s supposed to be 100 degrees tomorrow!”

“It’s true,” Mike said joining us by the front door. “I broke our air conditioning, and I want to say right off that I am sorry. I think this happened because I’m too tired to be working on home projects.”

“So,” I said, rubbing my forehead, “let me see if I’ve got this right. You knew you were too sleep deprived to work on the already broken and not being used plumbing, so, instead, you worked on the air conditioning that was in great condition and highly necessary and now it’s broken?”

“When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound good,” Mike smiled crookedly.

It’s a good thing I like hot weather. And crooked smiles.