Month: January 2017

Thirst Quencher

“Man, I’m thirsty,” I thought to myself as I navigated the parking lot. I looked at the clock on my dashboard and noticed it was an hour later than I thought it should be. Of course, I knew the risk. Hobby Lobby is like a time vacuum. I go in, and when I come back out, all the hours are sucked away. No wonder I was thirsty. But, I had several more stops to make, so I displayed incredible self-control and decided against stopping at Kum and Go for an icy drink.

I began thinking through songs trying to decide which one would be playing during this scene if my life was a movie. As one does.

Suddenly, I was snapped out of my daydream by the Chick-Fil-A sign. Perfect! It would only slow me down a few seconds to get an iced tea in the drive-through.  I pulled up to the window still fumbling through my wallet because I knew I had exact change if only I could grab it, and the drive-through girl handed me their largest cup filled with tea, just as I had ordered.

“It’s on us today,” she said, cheerfully, as I took the tea in one hand and counted out nickels and dimes with my other hand.

“Okay,” I said, distractedly, balancing the tea precariously on my knee. After finally gathering the correct amount, I shoved my fist full of dollars and change at her.

“It’s on us,” drive-through girl repeated, backing away.

“What?” I asked, confused.

Drive-through girl smiled.

“OH!” I shouted. “I don’t have to pay?”

“Have a good day,” she said, smiling. “Your drink is on us!”

“Oh my word! Thank you!” I laughed as I drove forward.

I threw the dollars and change into the cavern of my purse – a problem for future me – and felt giddy as I took a long drink of the icy free tea.

Free tea is the quenchiest.

Masters of Personality

“You know how I don’t want to ever get married?” Emery asked me as we loaded the dishwasher together.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Well, if I do get married someday, what kind of personality do you think I should be looking for?”

“That’s a hard question to answer,” I said as I shut the dishwasher and started it.

“Remember that personality test we took awhile ago? The Enneagram? What was I?”

“You are a four,” I answered. “The artistic, creative, deep person.”

“That sounds right,” she agreed. “Let’s go get the book that talks about how the personalities relate to each other and see what would work best with a four.”

We grabbed the book, and, because it is winter in the midwest, we slid our chairs as close to the fireplace as we could get them, grabbed a blanket, and Emery started reading out loud as I listened.

“None of these seem great,” she said after a few chapters. “What are you?”

“I’m a seven. Read about the four and the seven.”

“Okay,” she said, flipping to the correct chapter. “It says, ‘Fours think it’s important to discuss negative feelings, and sevens see negativity as a waste of time. Fours are unhappy about holding their feelings back, and sevens are afraid to wallow in emotion.’ Is that true? Do you see negative emotions as wallowing and a waste of time?”

“Well,” I said, squirming. “It just seems that taking about negative things doesn’t produce positive results.”

“How can you say that?” Emery asked, astounded. “If you don’t process the negative, the positive is not meaningful.”

“Sure it is,” I argued. “It is meaningful all by itself.”

“What makes it meaningful if you skip over the negative?”

“Logic and reason.”

“What?” she sputtered. “Logic and reason have nothing to do with it if you don’t embrace and deeply feel all the emotions.”

“Logic and reason save me from needing all the emotions.”

“I can’t even comprehend what you are saying,” she rubbed her forehead with her palms. “The negative feelings you experience are the personal twist that makes your life unique to you, and it is what gives all the other emotions a contrast. Without the negative, the positive is just shallow.”

“Well,” I said after Emery continued in this way for several more minutes, “I feel a lot, but then I use logic so I don’t get stuck there.” I blinked and smiled and blew her a kiss.

“Okay,” she said, grudgingly. “I guess that will do.”

“Read on.”

“Fours will spend considerable time convincing the seven to feel rather than think, but the seven is likely to say in the most charming manner, ‘I do feel deeply, but only briefly’.”

“No! It does not say that!”

“It totally does,” Emery said, laughing so hard I could barely understand her. She shoved the book toward me so I could see for myself that she had read correctly.

“Oh my word!” I shouted. “We just acted out a personality book!

This is us.